For years I have been intimidated and apprehensive about the outpouring from God and I would listen. It would scare me because I felt "Why me...Why would you choose me for such a task?" I know now that it was because I was listening - willing to listen. You are never far away Lord - You are always right there - patiently waiting for us to get over ourselves --> me to get over myself..."Here I am Lord - use me!"
"Daughter, I am so glad you have finally decided it is time to listen. I have some things I need to come forth through you. Your willingness to listen is all I ask. Will you make mistakes? Absolutely. But will you recover? Indisputably! The enemy has kept you trapped in his lies for to long. It is time to get out of your pit. One with its sides oozing with indecisiveness, confusion, lack of self control, anger bitterness and the like. Now, those same sides that oozed with negativity will now ooze with the polar opposites. I am here daughter...ready for you.
My life on this earth was not by chance. I came with a specific purpose - the same as my children here on this earth --> you have a purpose! One that is unique. Yes - I told you years ago through Ezekiel that I wanted you to write. You have finally stopped running and are willing. That is all that I ask - for you to be willing. You see, I love you with an everlasting love. What I do in you is not the same thing that I will do in someone else. I get down like that. (<--yeah, He talks to me like that ;o). I am omnipresent - omnipotent, an ever present help! Yes, carry pencil and paper - in any format - with you wherever you go. I will and do talk to you that much. The reason that I am always coming out of your mouth is because of what you have been choosing to put in. Don't allow someone other's view points to detour you from who I say you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made - a masterpiece...unique in and of itself. This causes you pause - why? Tell me - write it down, your fears, inconsistencies...lacks desires, tell me."
Father, I fear my non-committal ways will intercede.
"Have they in the past? Was I still talking even when you tried your hardest not to listen?"
Yes Lord, You were - all the time!
"So why should this time be any different? Honestly, a valid question I need for you to answer in order to get it."
Because I want to be present in your presence. I feel Your deep calling to deep. A gentle pulling in your direction like a horse being led to water after a hard ride - You are gently calling...
"I can do more with your willingness than you can with your refusal!"
Father, help me to embrace my want to's. Help me to stop running away from them. When I think of this - it reminds me of what You did through me during prayer that night during the fast. How You had me to go around and hug everyone. What started out with me wanting to get my 12 hugs in - ended with a miracle!! For this, I say Thank You!
What areas in your life have you been running from God? What has He told you to do, yet, you remain hesitant because of what others may say, think, or feel? Is that actually your problem or theirs?